Dear Comrades,
Quick, what does one hundred minus fifty eight equal? If you didn’t even try to do the math, you’re who ANTIFA’s looking for! Thinking’s hard work. Don’t think for yourself, we have professionals standing by, willing to do it for you. For the low low cost of… your soul! No need to think, just watch the boob tube, become root bound to the sofa, and empty your mind. One advantage of watching TV is your brain burns less calories engrossed in Gilligan’s Island… than sleeping. Making that high fructose corn syrup go ever further. If you want to work for the betterment of mankind, we have those positions too… like arsonist. We have the experts, the bureaucrats and the Satan worshipers, why not you? If you hate to think as much as I, then join our pogrom. You’ll get direction, a voice, and it’ll echo.
Forming an opinion is long and tedious toil, so why not adopt one of our ready made woke opinions? Anyone who’s too lazy to do simple subtraction is clearly too calorie efficiency aware, to form an opinion. It takes research, book learning and a brain. Listen to us, we’ll explain why those who love you are evil, why there are too many people and why everyone else should submit to you… and by you, we mean us. No other opinion is valid except ours. Since other opinions are misinformation, and those promoting misinformation are worthy of a good beat down… beat them down. Those of us who are smart enough, wise enough and well, just good enough people, know to let the experts do our thinking for us. Opinions are like rear ends, everyone has one, and they all stink, so why not transplant ours?
You want to help, but don’t know how, join ANTIFA and toss aside your judgment! Why think when you can feel? Raw anger, hatred and superiority over the low lives that think for themselves, is as enjoyable as an orgasm. You get to wear snazzy black uniforms, like the Schutzstaffle, and beat people with impunity. No, not with impunity, with justification, yea that’s it, it’s justified. Some people use violence, riots and destruction to get their way, I want you to know, we are those people. Join ANTIFA and you’ll not only get to have the experts do your thinking for you, but there’s more, you can act out your most violent fantasies in public, and it’s all justified, because your making the world a better place! If making change for a dollar is too hard for you, you’re exactly who we need… a moron.
Who has time to think anyway? Look at all the fair, honest and smart TV there is to watch, like CNN. It’s much easier to sit on a couch with a full soda, and an empty head, than to expend any of those one hundred and ten high fructose corn syrup calories, thinking. Especially when there’s room for more visceral fat. ANTIFA meets in vacant lots, in cool black uniforms, holding shields fashioned of 55 gallon drums, with hollow minds. Together we can break the world so a better one can ooze out. Where no one thinks for themselves. All our thinking done centrally, by experts, to free the vast computing power of our combined mentality, for video games. Freedom of speech, religion and self protection are misinformation, and we’re mindlessly eradicating misinformation… for the greater good!
It’s too complex for you, to discern for yourself, if a lie is true, or tell a boy from an elf. No matter if you stare, what man bun should you wear, or grind your gears for long, is killing a bad person, really all that wrong? Let the experts do your thinking, don’t listen to a preacher. Ask the non binary purple haired teacher. She’ll tell you with a wink, and your thoughts will go along, with the requisite group think, and our movement will turn strong. The more you use a muscle, the stronger that it grows. That’s why not to use your brain, as everybody knows. So keep the mind flabby, tired and weak. It’s only our opinion, that anyone should seek. Else bad things just might happen, as early as next week. Once enough of us do it, our effort then will show, the world will be ours, once everyone is made slow.
Insincerely,
Commandant John
