Dear Friends…
Two guys, JOE and STEVE are in Steve’s apartment. Joe is relaxing on the sofa. Steve is rummaging in the kitchen.
STEVE asks, “Want a beer?”
Joe scratches the back of his neck.
JOE says, “Yea. Thanks.”
Joe rubs the back of his neck.
Steve goes to the fridge. He opens it and grabs a couple of beers.
Joe looks at Steve in time to catch a beer. He catches it. Opens it. He takes a gulp.
Steve walks to the easy chair. He sets down. Picks up a remote. He turns on the TV.
Joe stands quickly.
JOE exclaims, “Argh!!! A TICK!”
Joe picks at it with his fingers. Steve is concerned.
JOE says, “Got it!”
Joe looks at the evil little TICK. It looks back.
JOE continues, “What should I do with it?”
STEVE says, “Toss it in the ash tray.”
In a squeaky voice the TICK says, “It burns! The ashes, they burn! I think its a chemical burn!”
Steve cocks his head.
Joe says, “I swear that tick is talking.”
Steve gives Joe a strange look, He says, “No…?”
The TICK says, “It burns! And that roach is smoldering!”
JOE says, “It IS talking!”
The TICK says, “Kill me! Burn me with a lighter, a magnifying glass or stick me with a pin… anything. End this pain!”
Steve picks up a can of Raid. He hands the can to Joe.
STEVE says, “Here use this.”
Joe sprays the ashtray. Ashes go flying. The tick is encased in a foam pyramid of Raid.
The TICK says, “This is worse! It still burns but now I’m sick too!”
Steve picks up the ashtray. He walks to the door. Opens it. He tosses out the complaining tick.
The TICK exclaims, “The sunlight burns my eyes!”
Steve turns and says… “A tick is like a politician. Shows up where its not wanted, takes what’s not theirs and resents being treated like a parasite.”
The End.
