Dear Friends,
It seems to me that:
The bustling city street glistened from the recent rain. Walking down the lane, the sun was poking out from behind the clouds, and my shoulder, turning on the drops still clinging to the leaves into diamonds. I turned and walked into the bank. The banker had called me and wanted to talk.
His mahogany office smelled of paper and ink. A primitive computer sat on his desk. The Banker sat on a overstuffed leather chair. I strode to the chair opposite and plumped down crossing my legs and leaning back. The Banker looked up and smiled, “Sam,” he said, “I wanted to talk over your finances.” He looked down at some papers then continued, “It appears that you have been increasing your spending at 10% or more every year, while your income has only risen 2-3% a year.” He flicks through some papers and shakes his head, “You even project spending increases at 8% for the next ten years while income is projected even lower.”
Furious I spat, “Are you stupid? In that projected budget I cut spending over ten years!” The Banker was aghast and responded, “Your debt to income ratio is getting so out of control that your credit rating is being effected. Some banks down the road have even downgraded your credit” I immediately snapped back, “Are you threatening me? I have lawyers that will look into your finances and believe me, they will find something, and don‘t worry about them, I have already filed lawsuits…” The Banker sat back, breathed out a long sigh and said, “Well, It’s your call.” I stood and walked out. How could he have the audacity to say such things! I went to my CPA.
He sat typing on his laptop, his phone cradled in his shoulder, the smell of cigarettes in the air. I sat down and looked around. His office was cluttered with papers piled and books stacked. “Ok, I’ll get back to you tomorrow.” The accountant Hung up the phone and looked up, “Well, I guess the Banker talked to you.” I stared at him for a few seconds, “I will just take more revenue from the business.” “But if you talk more from your business, you will diminish it’s yield.” He responded, then went on, “The best answer is to establish a budget that you must live under.” “You are acting childish,” I said, “You keep acting like I can cut spending, too many people depend on me, and the dependants are growing every day!” “That is because you buy everyone a free lunch. Most of your debt today, and projected, is for going out to eat.” The accountant replied dryly.
I sat back, again confronted by an imbecile, and said, “Ok, If I have to cut spending I’ll eliminate the security service.” But the fool accountant said, “You live in the most violent neighborhood there is, if you do that, you will certainly be robbed and maybe even killed!” I responded, “You really are dumb aren’t you, if I eliminate my security service, it will demonstrate to the hoodlums and gangs that I pose them no threat and they will like me.” I went on, “they are just people who are misunderstood.” The idiot accountant said, “But a few of your neighbors are building bombs and claiming they want to kill you.” I responded, “I will never be at war with them.”
The accountant sighed and said, “Whatever, but your business is already straining under the draining your giving it. I project your spending will start to increase exponentially due to you promises of future free lunches to more and more people.” I replied, “You keep singing the same old tune, I’ll cut the security service and take more income from my business, stop being such a child and make it work.” I got up and went home.
When I got home my wife met me at the door. “We have to talk about the finances, I don’t like the idea of shutting off the security service or taking more from the business. I want to establish a budget!” She bitched. I had had about as much as I could take, so I slapped her down, right on the doorstep, to the applause of the people I had been feeding. It made me feel so strong, and the cheers, so good.
Too bad my house was broken into, my wife was killed,, my business failed and the people I was supporting starved to death. I just don’t understand how that could have possibly happened?
