Dear Friends,
It seems to me that someone who beats his wife daily might be indignant at being told to stop beating his wife. After all beating one’s wife makes a man feel strong, powerful and keeps his wife under control. Control being important to the abuser.
Wives who get out of control put the ego of the abuser at risk. Wives who want too much leeway in their own lives. Damages the inflated and fragile ego of the abuser and he will react accordingly. If she tries to exert her sovereignty and drive a car or have a female friend are examples.
But to the abuser the most dangerous thing a wife can do is realize she can leave the relationship. Abusers that have become rich or have forced their twisted view of humanity on parts of the town through their abuse are especially in danger. Their wives could leave them and the abuser might end up dead in an ally somewhere.
I know of an example where the abuser slapped down his wife very violently and publicly, following her all around town, slapping and beating her with a closed fist in front of everyone in town, even in the European battered woman’s shelter, with not a person offended. His abuse was barbaric yet met no real criticism or action to stop it. When the wife, bloody and swollen, was dragged home by her hair, the town breathed a sigh of relief.
Yet lately I know of another example of an abuser who, while still an ass, let his wife act up. He put a half hearted attempt to slap her down but was met with widespread criticism from around the town. He went to therapy but to no avail. His wife left him and, as is normally the case, is now looking for another who will surely do her harm. She’s waiting… yea. For another love…
So we have this dichotomy in the town’s reaction. Surely there must be a reason. Lets examine the philosophy of the abusers to see if we can glean it. The one, who met no condemnation, brags in the bar every night that he wants to bring about the end times and calls for killing everyone who disagrees with him, bragging he would spill the blood of millions of people all over town and bring about the destruction of the Western way of life is his favorite drunken rant. While he amasses an armory of illegal weapons in his basement.
The other, the one who met immediate condemnation, and who’s wife’s going to a battered woman’s shelter was encouraged by town leaders, has a live and let live ethos. He didn’t brag he wanted to kill people, he didn’t call for the extermination of anyone, in fact he barbequed with his Jewish neighbor, once in awhile. His live and let live attitude had led to the betterment of his wife’s standard of living. Growing at over 5% during the last few years.
I hear now she is on Match.com looking for a fundamentalist who isn’t afraid to go to war with the neighbors over a fence. She is not alone however there are plenty of wives all over her neighborhood who want to rebel. The town fathers seem to be encouraging those of the mild abusers and protecting the true criminals. Maybe she actually will end up with a liberal guy, who may even let her balance the checkbook, we’ll see. I hope and pray that she does…
The wife of the first is still not happy in her coerced marriage. I hear she will be acting up tomorrow in the suburb of Tehran. I will be curious to see, if the town fathers encourage her, or him, and turn a blind eye while making placating noises. They have started making the noises but I have yet to see action. (And I doubt I will).
It is a terrible thing to see a woman beaten daily in front of your eyes, but it is an even worse thing to see her go from one who simply subjugates her to an abuser who will, eventually, beat her to death. I have no love lost for a bastard who beats his wife, but I certainly am concerned, when she goes from one abuser to another but the other will probably kill her trying to kill his neighbor… (She never liked the neighbor anyway).
