Dear Friends,
It seems to me… pandering shows utter contempt for the person being pandered to. That they might not know it is irrelevant. If someone back stabs you, and you don’t know it, are you harmed? Yes, by the reputational damage. Pandering is similar. It treats the subject as subhuman. A simpleton to be manipulated by pandering. Others see the pandering, and holds the person that needs to be pandered to, as childish. Especially if the pandered themselves don’t realize their being pandered to. “I aint in no ways tired…” When said authentically is a powerful statement of drive, but when said as a way to pander, shows total disrespect for the audience. Authenticity then, shows respect and holds the audience as adults, equals, and not patsies. Pandering is contemptuous of the listener.
How is it possible for pandering to be respectful? You pander to a toddler. Coochy coochy coo! Cute is cute and you know who! Now, that kind of speech may be appropriate for a child, but wholly inappropriate for an adult. Especially a stranger. Moreover, pandering requires the panderer to judge the other is childish. Thus pandering will manipulate and not enrage them. Most people are made susceptible to pandering because of our alienating culture. Many folks feel alone and unheard. The longer they feel this way the more open they are to pandering. Their need for validation is so high. Once pandered to, they will fall in love with the villain, who considers them children to be manipulated. Which is of course why politicians pander so much.
Treating an adult like a child is the ultimate form of disrespect. That’s why whenever the target notices it they get enraged. Because respect protects us from violence. Pandering is effectively contempt. Once recognized, contempt damages our ego. Why don’t more people become angry when pandered to then? I suspect it’s because they’re in some way emotionally needy, too busy to notice the contempt behind the pandering, or just plain stupid. We’re all stupid now and then. That’s one thing that makes us human. So, we’re all subject to manipulation by pandering, now and then. Many will subconsciously ignore the contempt behind it, because to recognize it, would mean recognizing our own flawed nature. So, to control the cognitive dissonance, we pretend the pandering is authentic.
Pandering is a peculiar form of manipulation, in that pandering tries to get us to have affinity, for someone who detests us. If they held us in esteem they wouldn’t be pandering. Once our emotions are manipulated to favor the panderer, we are more likely to do as they ask. What a nice guy, he talks just like me! So I suppose I’ll get that shot with the deadly side effects. That Yankee would never lie to me, not with that southern drawl! Pandering bypasses our normal sense of caution. Allowing villains to enter through the back door into our consciousness. So… pandering is a swindle. A swindle that con men use on unsuspecting rubes, to take our money, agency and humanity. Just because the game is run by politicians doesn’t make it any less of a fraud.
Authenticity is respectful. Both of the listener and the speaker. Pandering is a con, while authenticity is honest. When people are authentic, they can be trusted. We know where we really stand and there’s little pretense. We pander to children because they’re children. With a child it’s a form of play, not manipulation. Because we don’t respect a child, we love them unconditionally, in and of themselves. An equal however, must be treated as an equal, else they’re offended. Whether they realize it or not. Moreover, when we do a bad thing to someone, even accidentally, we dislike them, to assuage the cognitive dissonance. So, those who pander, are knowingly manipulating the listener and unknowingly, themselves… to dislike the listener. Making pandering an evil we should detest, call out and avoid.
Sincerely,
John Pepin
